Blown Goose
Edited, Does this need further editing, if so, can you show me where?
♥
Clinging to filigreed edges of cases
her fingertips rubbing, removing the traces
of memories happenstance
out of her dreams
tracing wrinkles
fingers touch, ruminate
concentrate,
hesitate,
breathing deep
as though in the process
drifted to sleep
Secrets embedded
foot heavy leaded...
racing, her heartbeats to
who knows where
does anyone care?
as if intent on taking a dare
lays there uncovered
in her underwear
curtains are blowing
wind’s getting cold
goose pimples rise on her skin
draped over bones
she is dreadfully thin
all that she has is
that old teddy bear
to hold
Night settles down
a blanket of darkness
a place where safely
thoughts she’ll confess
rising like steam from the bed
where she lay
closes the window
kneels down to pray
♥
L1 make it "the filigreed" to keep 12 beats for the opening two lines.
In S3, I like L2 broken at "there", with "uncovered" on its own line.
In S3, the last three lines seem to work better as two lines:
"all that she has is that old teddy bear
to hold."
A nice slow end may be:
"kneels
down
to pray."
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